10 patients I will never forget

Time flies, and I find it hard to believe I have now been in Ecuador for ten years.  In these years I have met many patients I will never forget, and who have taught me valuable lessons.  Here are ten of them: 

1.       Maria`s dedicated nursing of her 46 year old sister-in-law, who had a fungating, stinking tumour covering her chest, showed me the acts of compassion people are capable of.  Maria had no training as a nurse, yet she dressed that nauseating wound every day with great kindness. 

2.       Señora Chuba had terminal ovarian cancer.  She demonstrated the inimitable Ecuadorean hospitality, receiving me with chicken and chips when I had waded through mud to reach her house to call in for a palliative care visit. 

3.       I learnt the privilege it is to have a patient put their trust in you as their doctor, when Felicita abandoned her herbal remedies in favour of conventional treatment for her diabetes.  She has been attending her check-ups faithfully, every month for many years now. 

4.       I was amazed at the body`s ability to heal itself when Don Dueñas` s pus-filled, condemned-to-amputation foot responded to being dressed with honey (along with some antibiotics).  This has given me the courage to try to help other seemingly hopeless cases. 

5.       The courage of Señora Guerrero, who lived life to the full, despite living with lymphoedema and pain from breast cancer, will forever stand out in my memory.  She never gave up.   

6.       I will never forget the peace and tranquillity of Laura, who despite suffering cord compression and therefore paralysis, as part of her terminal illness, never once complained.  She accepted the loving care of her son with gratitude and took strength from her faith.  

7.       I learnt the deep sadness of feeling utterly helpless as I watched a young mum die from AIDS, unable to access the antiretroviral medications she had needed. 

8.       I have had the joy of seeing fear turn to hope as a painful, threatening foot ulcer was reduced to an unthreatening scar.  The formerly tearful, shaking Amelia now attends full of joyful smiles.   

9.       I have been touched by the kindness of strangers who took in the emaciated little Erika, the victim of an accident who had been neglected to starvation.  Although her life could not be saved, her last days were filled with care and love. 

10.   It was the end of a long day, and I did not want to answer another knock at the gate.  Imagine my surprise when instead of finding another person coming to ask for help, I found an old lady coming to say “thank you”, with the gift of a cooked guinea-pig.  I will never forget her kindness.

Time is not money: learning to value relationships

 
Life as a missionary doctor certainly has its unique challenges, and one of those is trying to fit into and understand different cultures. Today, I find myself in the strange situation of knowing where I will be every day during June and July, while I am visiting the UK, but not knowing what I will end up doing this afternoon, tomorrow or next week. The two cultures I live between have vastly different attitudes to time.
I was brought up by a British businessman who taught me that efficiency and organisation are paramount to a successful life. Now, I am married to an Ecuadorean who literally plans his life and work one day at a time. I am surrounded by a culture where people are habitually late, invite me to their wedding on the day, and believe it is perfectly fine not to turn up to our meeting because ‘something came up’.
At first, I was aghast at the lackadaisical attitudes I encountered and was determined to teach the locals about long-term planning, appointment systems and punctuality. After all, time is money, is it not? All around me, people were throwing away time (and therefore money) with abandon – and seemed not to care about either.
Then, I began to take notice of the events happening around me. I realised that when someone was sick, they needed family members free to go with them to the hospital to help them find a doctor who was actually present and attending, buy their medicines and nurse them. When a man went bankrupt and was wanted by the authorities, his brother-in-law drove eight hours, at a moment‘s notice, to take him to his house and feed him for the foreseeable future. When my car broke down on an unmade road, I needed a family member free to come and rescue me. I began to appreciate that in the unpredictable circumstances of life in Ecuador, the ability to be flexible and spontaneous was actually a necessity.
As I stood back and began to try to understand the local culture better, I observed that people truly value time with each other. If they were having a conversation with someone, and had not yet finished what they had to say, they would stay and converse and be late to their next appointment. I understood this was telling me about the values underlying their seemingly laid-back attitude to time. Ecuadoreans do not believe time is money. They believe time is to be used to develop relationships. If investing their time in friendships means they have less money, they are happy to live with that.
I chatted to my local greengrocer. She had just had a baby. ‘I used to live in Spain,’ she told me, ‘I had to work all hours of the day, and had no time for my daughter, so I could not have more family. So, I decided to come back to Ecuador. Now, I have had three sons in the past four years. I have time to spend with them. I am happy’.
Her aim was not to have as many possessions or foreign holidays as she could in her lifetime. She simply wanted to have enough to bring up her children. Her contentment challenged me and my values.
I began to see that my determination to achieve A, B, C and D in a day could be detrimental to my relationships, if sticking to my schedule meant ignoring someone whose need was now. I observed my husband working on the premise that if A took all morning, instead of the planned hour, and then his sister phoned, having come off her motorbike, then B, C and D would simply wait until mañana. I was surprised by how many things could wait very happily, or perhaps did not need to happen at all.
I learnt to have a mental list of things to do, then each day I would see which tasks could fit into the circumstances that presented themselves. This left time and space to respond to those who encountered need that particular day. I learnt to adapt to being invited to a family birthday party on the day, and having my four- and six-year-olds up until 10pm on a school night. I enjoy the fact I can drop in on any of my friends, neighbours or family in Ecuador unannounced and know I will receive a warm welcome and plate of whatever is on the stove. I love the fact we can wake up on Saturday and go to the beach on the spur of the moment.
But more than that, serving in Ecuador has made me question the values of my own culture. I do not find the belief that ‘time is money’ in the pages of Scripture. I do find the instruction to, ‘Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven’ (Matthew 6:20) and to ‘fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal’ (2 Corinthians 4:18). The fruits of our lives that will last for eternity are love, kindness, goodness and faithfulness. Our relationships with Jesus and our brothers and sisters in Christ are eternal. Let’s use the finite time we have in this world to invest in each other and in sharing the gospel. The challenge is working out how we do that as individuals living in different cultures.

Posted on CMF Blog 13/3/2015 

10 lessons God has taught me during 10 years in Ecuador

1.       Patience, patience, patience…. For paperwork, bureaucracy, & more paperwork….

2.       Be kind – I have no idea what the person next to me is going through.

3.       Humility – those who have nothing give so much more than I do from my plenty.

4.       Be generous.  Do not fear.  God always provides for our needs.

5.       What it is to be misunderstood.  What it is to feel helpless. Living in a culture different to my own has created many opportunities to learn these lessons!

6.       The joy of thanking God for the simple gift of another day to live and to love.  Having seen so many patients and neighbours die young, I no longer take life for granted.

7.       Our lives are like a breath, here today and gone tomorrow.  Live each day to the full and for His glory.

8.       God is with us, no matter what tragedies befall us. 

9.       I need to forgive and to be forgiven.

10.   God loves me profoundly and eternally.  

Alausi, Ecuador

My 10 favourite places in Ecuador

I arrived in Ecuador 10 years ago.  Here are 10 of my favourite places in Ecuador...
1. Baños - the bustling tourist town with stunning waterfalls and zip-wires.
2. Cuicocha lake near Otavalo, the extinct volcano which offers walks and boat rides, and the chance to see volcanic gases bubbling up to the surface of the water. 
3.  Mitad del Mundo - the equator monument just north of Quito.  A great place to take visitors so they can stand on the line between North and South. 
4.  Ingapirca Inca ruins  - a fabulous chance to look back into history. 

5.  Cotopaxi Volcano - the majestic snow-capped peak with llamas wandering in the National Park.
6.   Chimborazo Volcano - another spectacular summit with freezing winds and wild views. 

7.  The Pacific Ocean - wonderful, warm water to swim in, and crashing waves to catch.
8.  Mindo - home of exotic birds, fluttering butterflies, a chocolate tour and spectacular humming birds.

9.  The Galapagos Islands - there is nothing to compare with walking amongst giant turtles, iguanas, penguins and blue-footed boobies.
10. My home amongst the anthuriums and the orchids, the colourful birds and the iguanas, with bananas ever on hand and a beautful river to swim in.

A word for 2015

As I look back on 2014, there are several moments that stand out: Tamara lost her first tooth, my newest niece was born, Emily learnt to roller-skate and we visited some Inca ruins with my parents.  However, if I had to sum the year up in just one word that word would be “busy”.  We were busy in the health centre, treating patients with leg ulcers.  I was busy at home, teaching my girls their daily lessons.  The sewing group was busy making items for sale.  I was busy starting a girls´ club and introducing them to the delights of camping.  My husband built three houses for poor families and started on a fourth.  I wrote and published a book.  The year has flown by in the blink of an eye. 

One of the realities I have been reflecting on this year is the brevity of life.  Just this week a grandfather in the village died.  On their way home from the wake, his niece Estela and her family crashed on their motorbike and her husband and seven-year-old daughter died.  Tragically, years before, Estela´s previous husband and son also died in a similar accident.  The frequent accidents and loss of life here have forced me to face up to the uncertainty of life and the shortness of our days on earth.  I feel the need to seize the day, to make the most of each and every opportunity and not to put off until tomorrow what I can do today.  This sense of urgency contributes to my chronic busyness.  For me in 2014, God has been first and foremost the God who is with me, willing and able to help me, no matter what the circumstances.  I have tried to do all I can with the gifts He has given me.    

As I begin 2015, I find myself reflecting on what it means to live life in the light of eternity.  Yes life is brief, but I believe in a life to come that is very long!  What will continue for all eternity is my relationship with God and with my fellow men.  How should that affect how I live each and every day?  Do I just pay lip service to a belief in heaven, or am I making my decisions about what I do and how I use my time based on my faith?  Does eternity shape my here and now?  Is “busy” the best use of my time, or should eternity be shaping my priorities more?  Should my life be about helping as many people as possible, or investing deeper in my relationships with those around me? 

So, as the New Year begins, the festivities end and work recommences, I am making “eternal” my word for 2015.  In my family, in my friendships and in my work I will try to do and say those things that have eternal value as I seek to discern the path ahead.   

Ecuadorean New Year Traditions..... 

 Making of the Old Man, who represents the Old Year.

 Burning the Old Man at midnight

 The Widows of the Old Men who beg for money in the streets!!

The best Christmas gift

“So what did you get for Christmas?” is the common question once the presents are opened and the dinner consumed.  This year the question made me stop and think because my best gifts did not come wrapped up under the tree. 

The smiles of delight I received when I gave out the presents so generously donated by supporters to the children in the local village schools were a wonderful gift.  The overheard comments, “Wow, what a cute piggy!” and the sight of a little boy fiercely cuddling his toy dinosaur, brought happiness to my heart. 

 

I was proud and delighted to see Juan smiling broadly, looking confident and greeting me with a firm handshake and kiss on the cheek.  He has grown up so much in the past months, achieving excellent grades in his final year at school and shedding the shyness he had as a diffident teenager.  I am glad he has a sponsor and is able to finish school.  The determined glint in his eye brought me the satisfaction of a job well done. 

Then there was the little girl, who has a sponsor, who gave me a (live) chicken to thank me for the support she has received this year.  It is always gratifying to receive a thank-you, to know your efforts are appreciated.  This thank-you was no exception. 

All these gifts were special, unique and much appreciated.  All of them inspire me to keep going for another year in doing what I can to help the children living around me.  But even these were not the best present I received this Christmas. 

At each school I visited I took out a Christmas stocking filled with some names of Jesus.  The first we took out was “Saviour”.  The gift I most need this and every Christmas is to have my sins forgiven.  Jesus is the perfect gift because He came to save me from my sins.  The second name we took out was “Emmanuel”, which means God with us.  I also need this gift desperately.  I need to know that no matter what lies ahead of me tomorrow, next month or next year, God is with me.

And so I carry that most precious gift of all with me into the New Year, with grateful thanks.